Yesterpractice

Practice yesterday was frustrating. I felt like I kind of phoned it in. I was thinking about what I was doing. In retrospect, I think that was the problem. I didn't make the choice between a murderpractice and a practicepractice, and ended up doing something weird and in-between. This means I didn't have the satisfaction of a murderpractice, but I also didn't have the learning of a practicepractice.

This weird hybrid practice got me thinking about what was different about the passes I lost or doubled in, versus the passes I won at Rose Tournament.

In the passes I won, I was not thinking. In the passes I lost, I thought and second-guessed what I needed to do. This led to me choosing the wrong thing several times, and then losing.

I think that the next level in my fencing will be brought about by increasing my decisiveness. Thinking is wrong. Action is the only thing that matters, even if that action is a conscious and specific choice to remain still. I need to act, and the thing I do will be correct. Indeed, it will be more correct by the fact that my opponent will not be prepared for it, since I'll act instantly.

I achieved a lack of thought several times yesterday, and that's when I was fighting well. This lack of thought needs to be a lack of the fore-thinking that I do frequently. It needs to be living in the moment, rather than thinking about what my opponent might do. It needs to be watching my opponent and existing in the progressing moment, rather than watching to make sure I do my actions correctly.

I will perform and act correctly. The only input I need to what my opponent is doing right now.